Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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