she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize