May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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