I want to have your abortion
I am midnight drunk by noon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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