He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
