doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
