Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
