I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
