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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm home now. bring me food and boobies

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.

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• (909): View more from California

  WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (985): View more from Louisiana

  for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."

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• (727): View more from Florida

  at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong

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• (941): View more from Florida

  He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.

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