areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.