the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday