like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
