M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.