addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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