if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
