Im at strip club and am horny
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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