when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
