You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
