Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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