need another drink. this is the easiest way
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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