If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
