so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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