Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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