The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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