Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
