so that wasnt chicken after all
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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