YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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