All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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