I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
