So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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