why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
how does that bad decision feel?
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