I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
