i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
