I skipped work to stalk him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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