So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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