woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
