I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
