Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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