this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
