you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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