using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You made out with two different species that night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Drake has all the answers
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
