i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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