i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
