just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
