CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
