so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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