I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
