What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
