so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
