i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
