i came on her dog
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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