apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize