just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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