Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
