i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
