I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize