This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
