I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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