I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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