put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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