Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
