just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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