You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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