Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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