My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
