I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
